Why women have affairs

Here is an article on Crosswalk.com by Joe Beam, Christian marriage expert.  In it, he talks about what motivates a woman to be unfaithful to her husband.  What I found interesting was that in Joe’s experience, many if not most women who stray do so because they feel neglected or abused by their husbands.  Others do so because of emotional scars left behind by their fathers.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

There are two men in a woman’s life, and either of them can cause the kind of damage that would make her vulnerable to an affair.  Fathers and husbands both have a preventative role to play, a role in creating the kind of emotional well-being that will help a woman avoid the horrifying consequences of adultery.

“Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church,” wrote St. Paul.  How does that play itself out?  Among other things, a husband ought to put his own needs, desires, fears and anxieties in second place to making sure that his wife’s heart is nurtured.  Working 80 hours a week to ensure that she has diamonds dripping from her fingers does not qualify.  For the typical emotionally healthy woman, love is spelled “TIME.”  She wants your attention.  She wants your affection.  She wants you to listen to her struggles and her problems.  She wants you to carry a fair share of the burden of running the household, even if that means learning to run a dishwasher and hang up clothes.  Marriage therapist Willard Harley recommends spending 15 hours a week in quality time with your wife.  If you think you haven’t got enough time to do that, will you have the time when she leaves you for another man?

Fathers of daughters, do you want your daughter to grow up to be a cheater?  If you’re reading this, I can’t imagine you would.  So how can you raise her to be a faithful woman of integrity?  Did you read the previous paragraph?  That’s step one.  The best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother.  Step two isn’t too hard to understand either.  Spend time with your daughter.  Read to her.  Look at her homework.  Play with her.  When she’s old enough, take her out on “daddy-daughter dates.”  (Mom will adore you for this, by the way.)  And give her loving discipline and guidance.  Protect her from excessive risk, especially in regard to sexual predators.  Don’t defer this job to your wife; believe it or not, she isn’t the one your daughter needs most.